Valley of Death

Reflections on December 9, 2007

Today started off like any other Sunday in our new church.  Still trying to adjust to all the changes that had recently been brought into my life, sadness gripped my heart.  After a brief afternoon nap, it was time to get dressed and go to church for the children's Christmas program.  Instead of getting me into the Christmas spirit, I came away feeling a deep sense of sadness and despair.  

Will I every feel "at home" in this new place?  

After arriving home, I decided that going to bed was the answer to my despair.  At 8:30 I put my ear plugs in, turned off the lights and closed the door.  Sleep didn't come easy and about 20 minutes after laying down, the phone rang.  I hoped it wasn't my son away at college, because I didn't feel like talking.  A few minutes after that ring, my husband came into the room sobbing.  I couldn't imagine what happened.  He sat on the bed and and between gut wrenching sobs told me my precious mother-in-law was dead.  I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing.  About 8pm tonight someone rang my in-law's doorbell.  My mother-in-law went to the door and opened it without thinking twice.  Someone opened fire and killed her.  

Why?  

So many questions, no answers.

Shock...

Your worst nightmare...  

Mike had to contact professors to let them know that he would not be in class tomorrow.  I helped to get him packed.  

Peace in the midst of a hurricane...

Wes...we have to tell Wes.  Mike didn't want to call him on the phone, so once we got Mike packed up, Leigh Ann and I headed to DBU to tell him in person.

Nervous...

What will I say....

I can't believe this has just happened...

God's grace!

Calling Wes.....I'm outside, could you please come out.

What do I say?

I can't even find the words.

He must know something is very wrong.  Why would mother be at campus at 10:30pm?

Mimi...murdered at her front door!

Stunned...

Tears...

Hugs...

Peace that only comes from God!

I help him get packed up and he heads to Mimi and Pop's house and I head back home.

At home I spend most of the night awake, washing clothes, preparing to leave tomorrow and sending out emails to ask for prayers.

It's only been 7 weeks since I arrived here, I don't know anyone to call.  I don't have any friends yet.  Our house is big and at the moment very scary.

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."  Psalm 18:2

I will trust Him in the midst of this trauma.