In Chapter 8 'Becoming Focused' the author gives several prescriptions. Number two is 'Focus on what you like a lot more than what you don't like'. He then proceeds to tell about his penguin collection.
While living in Hawaii, he took his son to a marine life educational and entertainment park for the day. They saw a penguin named Fat Freddie. At one point the trainer asked Freddie to get something and Freddie went and got it and brought it right back. He was amazed how Freddie followed instructions. He went up to the trainer afterward and asked, "How did you get Freedie to do all those really neat things." The trainer looked at his son and then at him and said, "Unlike parents, whenever Freddie does anything like what I want him to do, I notice him? I give him a hug and I give him a fish."
He said, "The light went on in my head. Whenever my son did what I wanted him to do, I paid little attention to him, because I was a busy guy, like my own father. However when he didn't do what I wanted him to do, I gave him a lot of attention because I didn't want to raise a bad kid! I was inadvertently teaching him to be a little monster in order to get my attention. Since that day, I have tried hard to notice my sons good acts and fair attempts to downplay his mistakes." After this experience, he began collecting penguins to remind him to focus on the positive in others.
So often in our homes, we spend too much time telling our children what to do and how to do it. We are involved in pointing out to them what they are not doing right. What would happen in our homes if we began looking for opportunities to point out all the things that they are doing right? We might have happier children and more loving homes. We are the trainers of our homes. What kind of trainer are you? Let's make it a priority to speak positive words into the lives of our children.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."
Proverbs 18:21
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